My next charity: water update will be Wednesday. Plan on sharing a story or two. You have a week, make today count.

As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: A guy challenges you to a fight.

Mancode #443: There are several things to consider here.  Does the guy have a beard?  If he does, you must then ask yourself if you have a beard.  If you are unsure, ask a friend or look in a mirror.  If you do have a beard, you then must gauge its level of awesomeness against your potential opponents beard.  If his beard kicks the crap out of your beard, chances are you will also have the crap kicked out of you.  If you don’t have a beard and he does, run away.  If you have a beard and he doesn’t, get ready to be the most sought after guy in the room.
Actually, when it comes to a fight, the beard is the only thing to consider.

My next charity: water update will be Wednesday. Plan on sharing a story or two. You have a week, make today count.

Say “goodbye” to neck pain as well as all of your potential mates with the Neck Air-Traction System!

Guy: Hey girl, would you like to perform some kissing?
Gal: You know that I would.  Let us proceed with this plan now.
Guy: You said it girl.  But hang on — gotta give my neck muscles a rest.
[Proceeds to inflate the Neck Air-Traction System]
Guy: That’s much better.  Now I can really relax.
Gal: I thought you were relaxed — you kept falling asleep at dinner.
Guy: I wasn’t relaxed, my neck was actually giving out.  My neck muscles have actually weakened since I started using this. [Points to neck] Enough of that, let us move forward with all of the kissing.
Gal: Umm…okay.
Guy: Wait — this is for you.
[Girl opens package containing the Neck Air-Traction System]
Guy: Whattya think, girl?
[Girl roundhouse kicks guy in the neck causing the Neck Air-Traction System to explode, and leaves]
Guy: Good thing I had this thing on.
[Guy's head drops due to weak muscles and a broken heart]

For more Bottom of the Barrel Bin posts, click here.

Have you found a Bottom of the Barrel Bin product? If so, send a link or a photo of the item. I really want to see it. Send it to 11ty@kevinkeigley.com

Charity is the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.
Being charitable is easy these days — you can do a search online and in under 10 seconds, many reputable and relevant charities will invite you to their giving page where your gift is just a click away.
That is a blessing and a curse.

The Blessing.
This September, 30 bloggers are using their sites to collectively raise money for an organization called charity: water.  We have a dedicated page that will allow you to give and to follow the progress as we aim for our goal of $30,000.  We want to reach this goal in 30 days.  So, this month, you will be informed and challenged as we pull our resources together to change lives.
To start this campaign on my blog, I have included a video from charity: water that covers the problem and the objective (this promo features the music of Beck — how could I resist that one?).

The Curse.
Being charitable is easy in this day and age.
Too easy.
So easy, in fact, we can click submit and go about the rest of our day being jerks and bringing chaos into the lives of everyone around us.
It is my belief that we all have a desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.
We often appease that desire here and there without ever really doing the hard work of making real change to the world around us.
So, please give to charity: water.
Help the billion people in our world get clean water.
But…
…I also want to challenge you to make a change where you are.
At work.
At school.
In your neighbourhood.
This month on my blog, I want you to share your stories of not only helping charity: water, but I also want you to share your stories of doing something that scared the crap out of you — something that caused you to step outside of yourself and bring peace, bring shalom, to someone besides yourself.
Share those stories here.  Not so you get a pat on the back, but to encourage others to do something selfless.
Ready?
Go.

“Y’all come back now, y’hear?.”
- Anonymous Wise Saying

Home.
Man, that is a word that can be packed with meaning.
For some, it is the literal and physical and geographical place in which they reside.
To me, it is more than that.  In fact, I have found that home has been many places…

It has been in the desert of Israel.
It has been in front of a camera working with people in my community (I worked at a television station for almost 10 years).
It has been in the woods with my children as we explored and I could literally watch them become smarter.
It has been in a warm embrace where I could hear a heart beating in my ear…

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros have captured something in their song “Home” that goes beyond music and lyrics.  Sure they sound a little trippy, and yeah — they might even look a little trippy, but there is something raw and tender that pours out of their voices.  I don’t use this word to describe many things — but this song is… sweet.

There.
I said it.
Now get outta here.

(Thanks to Lauren for exposing me to this song.  Also, after you have downloaded and listened to the song over and over again, watch the video below and witness one of their live performances — just try not to smile.)

What were they thinking?

Marketing Guy 1: Well, I’ve got some bad news.  General Mills is not buying this whole [finger quotes] “caveman idea.”
Marketing Guy 2: What do we do?
Marketing Guy 1: Great question, Jenkins.  I have a friend who knows a lot about cigarettes — says they are good for you and are a great way to make you look trendy and fashionable.
Marketing Guy 2: Tell me more, Harvey!
Marketing Guy 1: Keep your suspenders on, Jenkins.  Let’s just get these Flinstones cigarette ads knocked out.
Marketing Guy 2: Harvey!  What about Jack Daniels sponsoring the Jetsons?
Marketing Guy 1: Jenkins — I think you are gonna run this place some day.
[Jenkins smiles and puts his gun in his holster as they exit the board room]

What is the worst ad campaign you have ever seen?

Has your hair ever been so bad that one of your close friends made a strange comment?

Friend: Dang holmes, your hair is jacked.  You needs a fresh coat of mayo.
You: What in the name of Kevin Spacey are you talking about?
Friend: I am talking about your hair, yo!  It looks like a small woodland creature died in it.  You needs mayo.
You: I don’t understand.  Mayo?
Friend: [Opening jar of mayo] Yeah.  Mayo.  M-A-W-Y-O.  Ever heard of it?  You put it on your toast.
You: I don’t think you know what you are talking about.  Are you confusing me with someone else?
Friend: No.  You are Thomas Gout, right?
You: No, I am England Dan.  My friends call me Tony.
Supposed Friend: Oh, my B — your hair is still jacked though.  Get some mayo on it.

Well, if you have ever been told to put mayonnaise on your hair, this product is for you.  And it is organic too.  It is helping the earth or something, while helping your jacked-up hair.

Does mayo on your hair really work?
I have also heard of people using beer to wash their hair, but I always thought those people just wanted an excuse to drink in the shower.

For more Bottom of the Barrel, click here.

I have heard of this place.
I actually watched a short documentary on it.
When my friend (Lee Andrews) sent me a link to this site, it sealed the deal — I am never going to The Island of the Dolls.
Could you imagine?
Horrifying dolls everywhere (see the photo below for one example)?
My body wanting to explosively emit various types of matter from every orifice at all times?
No thanks.

Also, don’t forget my Nasty Little Challenge.

If there were an island of something — anything, what would it be to make you never want to visit?

Sometimes I like to read a review before I choose to see a movie or not.  I like to try to glean some insight from the critic before I pay $400 to see a crappy film.  Most quality reviews will give an honest an unbiased angle, but every now and again, you can find one that defies the norm.
While vacationing in Tybee Island/Savannah, Georgia, I came upon the following review:

It’s not every day that you are asked to avoid a movie like a “hot case of herpes.”
Thank you Alaina Loughridge — for your candid and hilarious review of this movie.  I will avoid it like the herpes of which you speak.

This clip came from the Tybee Breeze, and Ms. Loughridge’s review can be found on page 30.

Have you ever been working on the railroad?  Working real hard?  And you are thinking about your one and only?  With every whack of your hammer on that cold steel you thought about them?  And then as you eat your dinner by a fire at night, you look up at the stars and dream about a someday far away?

I haven’t really either.
But if I did, this song would repeat on my iPod as I sweated it out working for the Man.
Maybe if I were working for the Man, on a railroad, I wouldn’t have an iPod.
Because working on a railroad line probably means that it is quite some time ago.
Before iPods were even a glimmer in Apple’s eye.
I guess I would just have to sing this song over and over again.
Kind of on repeat.
But maybe if I did sing the song repeatedly, I would die a premature death because of the other guys working for the Man — the Man would have gotten them down so badly that they would drive a railroad spike into my skull to quiet me.
All good.
At least I died thinking about my one and only.
And I wouldn’t be working for the Man anymore.
It’s win-win.

(By the way, Mason Jennings sings an amazing song called “Empire Builder.”  It is about some guy that is working on a railroad line thinking about his one and only.  It is smooth and somehow the song lulls you into thinking that you can sing as well as Mason Jennings.  Get this song today.)

Are there other songs that when you sing them, you honestly believe that you could kidnap the lead singer, step up to his/her mic, and no one would notice?
What song are you itching to belt out in a Karaoke dive?
Has the Man ever tried to get you down?
You will never get ahead by saying “Yes” to the man — don’t believe me?  Watch below to hear from Mr. Bobby Conn.