If there is one thing that people know, the same people who occupy space around me, it is that I do not, under any circumstances…play around. The following 10 reasons speak for themselves.
1. If you decide to play a sweet, delicate little prank on me, count on getting a searing hot level 10 payback.*
Riley, my oldest daughter who at the time was a young lass of 9-ish, thought it would be funny to put a nasty-horrific-terrorpoo-inducing doll wearing a mullet wig and reading a book that was upside down on my toilet. The goal was that I would find it after I came in late from work one night. I silently made my way into the bathroom so not to awaken anyone. After I whizzed my pants and Near-Swearfest 2003 officially ended, I decided to drop a level 10 on her unconscious little dome. I went to my sleeping daughter’s room where I snatched her up from a sound sleep. I ripped the bedsheet off with her inside, threw her over my shoulder Santa style, and then made my way into the bathroom where I placed her into the bath tub. Then I went out into the cold night and flung that nasty doll back to hedes from whence it came.
(Just so you know, I considered writing 2-9. In the end I determined that I would have been playing around. And as you now know, I do not, under any circumstances…play around.)
* Please do not attempt to test reason number one.