The following is an interview with fellow Beardy, Walter Howard.

After having just filled our bellies with food from Zesto’s Grill (your typical Italian/Greek/American restaurant), Walter opened up and shared his heart regarding the highs and the lows of having a beard.

Me: Walter, you and I have known each other for how long now?

Walter: About two years.

Me: I don’t think that’s right, but for the sake of the interview we’re going to press forward.  You are sporting a pretty nice beard, is this something you do every year?

Walter: I usually try it for a little bit — usually about once or twice a year.

Me: Why do you give up?

Walter: (While gently petting a horse)  I usually can’t persevere through the itchy phase.

Me: When did you first realize you could actually grow a beard?

Walter: I think when I was seven.

Me: Seven?  That is pretty early.

Walter: (Approving nod)

Me: Now I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I think that you are a Connector.  By Connector I mean that you can grow a beard all the way down to your chest.  Is that true?

Walter: (Puts saddle on horse)  Unfortunately yes, yes it is.

Me: How do you know where to top shaving?

Walter: (Climbs onto horse and settles into the saddle)  I think it comes down to personal choice.  I mean, everybody decides how far they want the beard to go down.  It’s really about accenting the chin.  You want to draw the chin into it.  When I say, “That’s enough chin”, then usually I shave from there down.

Me: What do you find most troubling about having a beard?

Walter: It’s not as easy as I thought it would be.  I am pretty symmetrical — pretty detailed , so just keeping all those guys under control probably.

Me: So the fact that your beard is not symmetrical, that’s the most troubling part?

Walter: (Visibly irritated)  When it’s not, I mean, the effort of keeping it symmetrical — yes.

Me: Thank you for your time.

Walter: You’re welcome, thank you (Rides into sunset).

For the full interview, double-click below for your listening pleasure.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.