It is not very often that I get the chance to actually speak with someone of such renown.  Nate Rector has been mentioned in nearly every episode of The Trouble with Beards.  Every reference has to do with his amazing beard abilities.  Today, you get to experience the man, the myth — the beard.
By the way, Nate sounds pretty jacked-up at first because I had him put on headphones and listen to his own voice with a slight delay.  The effect is hilarious — he sounds like he has some serious problems.

Me: You have a beard, and you’ve been a topic of discussion before on The Trouble with Beards — Tyler Stanton and I have talked about you, maybe Walter Howard and I — the main focus, the main thrust where you always come up is the Wraparound.  Can you tell us what the Wraparound is?

Nate: (Laughing hysterically at his own voice.) I can.  I have the unfortunate blessing of being able to connect my beard hair with my neck hair.  The barber has to make a decision when he’s trimming my neck (More laughter.) …sorry.  Sorry.  About…wheneezee… (Again, more laughter.) Alright.  …about when he’s done trimming my neck and when he’s begun trimming my back.  It’s pretty embarrassing.

Me: So you take your shirt off at the barber?

Nate: No, but the neck of my crew necks does get stretched out.   A lot — as the barber just goes further and further south…(Voice trails.)

Me: Yikes.  So, it sounds like you get some pretty personal treatment from your barber.

Nate: I do.  Umm…uhh…hot…it’s not whipped cream, shaving cream, right?

Me: Wow.

Nate: (Laughter rising.) …and some whipped cream… Uh, Hal is — he’s got soft hands.  So he puts it on my neck and does a straight razor shave (Overwhelmed  with giddiness.)…

Me: Again, a reminder, Nate is hearing his voice on delay.  That’s why he sounds insane.

Nate: (Lots of grinning and nodding.)

Me: Nate, how do you determine where your beard line is?  You do have a Wraparound, but you are a Connector as well — where your chest hair will come up and shake hands with your beard.

Nate: I am a proud Connector.  Um, I joooish…that was funny…I just shave low enough so that there aren’t any escapees from my t-shirts.

Me: And escapees are?

Nate: Long hairs a la Burt Reynolds — that are creeping out of my shirt.

Me: So you just don’t want chest hair poking out of the top of your t-shirt — that’s what you are saying?

Nate: Right.

Me: You’ve probably had facial hair for a very long time.  I am guessing you started shaving in the 2nd grade — you are that burly.  What are some of the things that you’ve found particularly troubling with your beard?

Nate: Just for the record — I also, in addition to a beard, regularly French-kissed in 2nd grade as well.  Whuzz… (Voice trailing.)

Me: That’s an interesting side note.

Nate: I was kind of a lady-killer, know what I mean?

Me: Because you had a ‘stache in the 2nd grade?

Nate: Irresistible.

Me: Mhmm…

Nate: I forgot the question.

Me: Trouble with beards…what trouble have you experienced with your beard?

Nate: (Attempting to answer.) …can I get rid of these headphones now?

Me: Go ahead and take them off.

Nate: (Taking off headphones.) Everybody answers with the stock answer of “itchiness”, and you do have to power through that.  Everybody has to establish a jaw-line — where they are going to shave.  I actually have to establish a cheek-line as well.  I actually shave in between my eyes and my beard.

Me: So you have whiskers to the tops of your cheekbone?

Nate: Right, so I have to pick a good spot for a nice thick beard that doesn’t look like a chinstrap beard on my cheeks.

Me: Wow.  See, these are the things that regular folk are unaware of.  They pass people with beards all the time, and they never consider the trouble they go to just to step out the door — just to get themselves together in the morning.  So do you trim your beard every morning?  Is that sort of your morning routine?  And if you don’t, do you have whiskers on your eyelids?

Nate: I trim every 2 or 3 days, depending on how sloppy I am willing to look that day.  No out of control whiskers — I just look homeless if I don’t take care of it.

Me: I can see how that would happen.  Because you, like many other Beardies — not like me, but other Beardies have the uncanny ability to willingly make their facial hair grow.  I cannot.  The hair you see on my face, I started in September.  I still look like I have the mange, would you agree?

Nate: (Laughing at my sparse and inadequate beard.) Yes.  Yes.  It’s a championship beard for a 16-year old.  It’s wonderful.

Me: Well, you stink Nate.  Thanks a lot.

Nate: I don’t know what to say.

Me: That was a perfect ending.

To get to all of the jewels out of this conversation with Nate, double-click below for the full interview.

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