As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: You are at the beach and someone actually tells you to put on sunscreen.

Mancode #1010: As a man, your response should be immediate guffawing and jesting.  Of course you don’t need sunscreen.  Why would you want to sit in front of the general public and smear lotion all over your body?  Why apply sunscreen anyway?  If you put on that stuff, then you miss out on the sweet leather-looking skin effect that only comes from severe sunburn.  And if you do get a killer sunburn, you won’t get the chance to display how tough you are when your back is a giant bubble of fluid.