Dadisms.
Dadspeak.
Fatherisms.
You may be unfamiliar with those words, but you know the language.
It’s the stuff that only Dads say.

When your Dad is asked, by means of a general greeting, if he was doing okay:
Dadism:  “If I was doing any better, I’d have to take an ill pill.”

When you actually admit to having a headache:
Dadism:  “If I had a head like that, mine would hurt too.”

When your Dad sees you and your friends approaching:
Dadism:  “Uh-oh. Here comes a motley crew!”

When you are in 6th grade and your Dad is folding laundry and finds a pair of your Brut Fabrege bikini briefs:
Dadism:  “Hey Kev — where do you want me to put your panties?”

Did I miss any Dadisms?  There are more out there.  What did your Dad say?