As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.
Scenario: You have been assigned the task of going to the grocery store and your lady has given you a list.
Mancode #77: Though you will come home with versions of the items on the list, Mancode allows you to alter any of the suggestions and add to the grocery inventory (it also allows for you to completely forget some things as well).
If you were given a grocery list, you are almost certain to have been given a stack of coupons that you have carefully rolled up and shoved in your pocket. Even as you were receiving specific instructions on how to use them, you knew that those coupons were never going to see the light of day.
Sure, a 4-pack of stick butter is on your list. You know that the brand in the convenient tub is easier to spread and has better graphics. Also on the list is a bag of shredded cheese produced by a company called “Great Value.” You get the “Kraft” shredded cheese because you know that brand names always taste better.
The list reads “2 gallons of 1% milk.” Men don’t drink crappy milk-water. You need vitamin D to feed your muscles.
Inevitably, your list will call for you to acquire some “lady specific” items. You must get them, but always be sure to shake your head, roll your eyes and sigh as you toss the items carelessly into the cart. Do this even if it appears no one is around, just in case. You don’t want to take the chance on someone thinking you are okay with making those kinds of purchases.
Always be sure to stray from the list and exceed the grocery budget by at least $40. Items to get that are not on the list are: several bags of chips, cookies, strange ice cream flavours, soda and lots of paper products for quick clean-up. Because you have the drive home ahead of you, be sure to grab at least 2 candy bars and a pack of gum as you are checking out (you should also get something to drink since the candy bars will make you thirsty).
Did I miss anything in Mancode for shopping?
Want more Mancode? You are not alone.