Announcer: You are listening to 1010, WKEV FM. Up next, Where are They Now? with host, Corby Tender.
Corby: Welcome to Where are They Now? I am your host, Corby Tender, and joining me in the studio are a few members of the Gobots: there’s Jet-Guy and (to the other Gobot) you sort of look like a motorcycle, so I will call you Cycle Guy. Welcome to the show fellas.
Jet-Guy: Thank you, I guess. I will have you know that my name is Guardian 1…
Cycle Guy: …and my name is Cy-Kill! Do you get the play on words? I am a cycle, and I…
Corby: Yeah, I think we get it. So, let’s just address the obvious — you guys are not Transformers, right?
Jet-Guy: (laughs to self and glances nervously at Cy-Kill) Uh…no. We are not. You wouldn’t believe how often we…
Cycle Guy: What my bumbling enemy is trying to say is that…
Corby: (cutting him off) Do you know how much you guys stunk the place up in the 80′s? Do you? Can you even comprehend your impact on many a young boy on his birthday or Christmas?
Jet-Guy: I don’t understand.
Corby: You guys were the knock-offs. The replacements. The stand-in toys for Transformers. When moms and dads around the country couldn’t afford Transformers, they grabbed you and disappointed kids everywhere.
Cycle-Guy: You can hardly blame us for…
Corby: Quiet Cycle-Guy! Just shut your face!
(Cycle-Guy and Jet-Guy exchange anxious glances)
Corby: (beginning to get emotional) Do you know how badly I wanted Optimus Prime? Do YOU? Do you know how many times I rode home on the bus and watched as my friends played with their Transformers: Optimus Prime, Megatron…even the Dinobots? I think I touched Optimus Prime one time. ONCE! And it was on the bus when my buddy Chris asked if I would pass Prime to the kid behind me who had a gym bag full of Transformers. That kid probably had a bag of Capri Suns and Fruit Roll Ups too. (hangs his head and cries)
Cycle Guy: Sounds like someone needs a taste of energy blasts from my fist! (raises arm which quickly begins to shake) Who am I kidding? I am no Megatron. I wanted to be. (whispering to himself) So badly I wanted to be like him. (begins to weep)
Jet-Guy: (trying to play it cool) Come on, fellas! Why do our interviews always end the same way? We get railed by some guy with adolescent scars and then Cy-Kill caves under the weight of it all. That’s it. I am not gonna sit around and take this. C’mon, Cy-Kill! Let’s transform, and roll out!
(Corby looks at Jet-Guy)
Jet-Guy: (mortified) Oh my gosh. Did I just say that out loud? (Jet-Guy quickly changes into an F-15 fighter jet and blasts his way out of the studio leaving Corby and Cycle-Guy in a pool of tears and oil)
Corby: (looks up in a hysterical rage and shakes his fist at Jet-Guy who has just broken the sound barrier above the studio)
Your cartoon sucked Jet-Guy!
Announcer: Uh…(coughs) We hope you’ve enjoyed Where are They Now? with host, Corby Tender. If you have lost track of someone or something through the years, contact our 1010 WKEV studios and let us know. You can e-mail us at email@example.com or leave your comment below.