After a long day of satisfying recreational outdoor experiences, you come inside and get ready to shower. As you walk by the mirror and prepare to flex your biceps as most Americans do, you notice something new. Something you’ve not seen before.
You think to yourself:
Is it dirt?
Is it a brand new mole?
Is it a melernorma? Melonoma? Melanoma (however you say it)?
No. It is none of those things. It is a tick.
Here is a list of why ticks suck.
1. A tick bite makes you feel like a disgusting animal since you were, in fact, used as a host for some nasty little parasite.
2. Once you remove the tick, it doesn’t look like a hardcore tattoo. It looks like the onset of some new plague that the CDC will reveal to the general public in the coming weeks.
3. Ticks always find their way into nooks and/or crannies. They also cause you to take your friendships to unfortunate and deeper levels.
4. After the tick comes off, you spend the next 2 weeks searching for signs of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. You are also prone to ask questions like, “Does this bite have a red ring around it?”
5. Ticks steal your blood.
Did I miss anything?