Why Unicorns Rule

Most people in today’s fast-paced society, think that unicorns are lame.
I wholeheartedly disagree.
Unicorns rule.
In fact, I have compiled a list of reasons why unicorns should be socially acceptable in this “internet-crazed” society.
Read them and weep unicorn haters.

1.  Unicorns are the fastest way to strike up a conversation with the ladies.
Sure, I may have been in the 3rd grade and it was because they wanted me to draw one on their folders — but you can’t deny the results!

2.  The horn of a unicorn cures any disease (I am told).
Why are scientists wasting their time on seedless watermelon and ozone depletion?  Why isn’t our tax money being put to better use? Consider what one unicorn horn could do for the world or your cousin.

3.  Unicorns are not susceptible to 2nd or 3rd hand smoke.
Just think about what that means!

4.  Rainbows are a natural byproduct of unicorn digestion.
How many rainbows have you seen?  I rest my case.  Imagine a world without rainbows (I don’t even want to try).

5.  Unicorns are delicious (I am told).
Apparently, a unicorn tenderloin is the most amazing food known to man.

Though this list seems to be exhaustive, it is not.
What are some other reasons unicorns rule?

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Kevin

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