At some point in time, an adult married male will be asked to go to the market to pick up a few essentials.
No doubt the list will include things like milk, bread, cheese, apples – an assortment of kitchen staples.
But there are some things that the ladies must know about the mind of a man left alone to shop at the grocery store.
1. If you ask for fruit, don’t assume he’s going to get apples.
Man Mind: “Let’s see… this list says ‘fruit.’ I bet she means apples. [Looks around with strategic eyes] Hey, these are organic, but they are $4 a pound. Wait – is that pineapple? Pineapple is good and weird. And you have to cut it. Maybe I can use my sword to cut it. Wait, this one is already pre-cut – what a time saver. I will be a hero, and she will be so proud that I don’t bring my sword into the kitchen again.”
2. If you ask for juice, please clearly state the brand name and the juice type.
Man Mind: “Juice, juice, juice… ahhh. Here it is. [Reading label with much precision] Hmmm… this is just some plain old apple juice. [Looking around and seeing super-expensive imported Italian volcanic spring water juice infused with blood oranges]
Oh – here we go. [Places it in cart]
3. If you ask for cereal, limit the number of allowed boxes.
Man Mind: “Raisin Bran – check. Cheerios – check. [Seeing Fruity Pebbles] I loved these when I was younger [drops them into cart with a smile] – for nostalgia. [Looking at aisle of cereal that goes on and on and grabbing a nearby box] Whooo – there is fruit in this one. She wanted me to get fruit, and this one has some kind of astronaut freeze-dried strawberries in them. [Places box in cart] And these… oooh. This box of Special K says that it helps you lose weight. She’ll love this. She’s really into weight loss.”
Suffice it to say – you get the point.
Please know that in addition to the above scenarios, a man left alone to shop in the grocery may be sucked in to a wine-tasting and come home empty-handed, but a bit more cultured.
And if he comes home with everything but what was on the list you gave him, just know that he had your best interests in mind…
…even if it is a box of Special K.
This short list certainly applies to me, what about you?
Ladies – care to chime in?