It’s inevitable that at some point in your married life, you will have a disagreement with your spouse.
While there are no turnkey solutions for navigating marital disputes, I offer a few points that can get you through discord without creating more problems than necessary.

1. Always wear a shirt.
If you are the husband, nothing makes you lose credibility faster than trying to make your point shirtless. Your wife will not be able to hear your point of view over the sound of your stark farmer’s tan and one pack.
If you are the wife, your husband will not be able to hear your point of view over the sound of you – well, being shirtless.

2. “I told you so” doesn’t make you more awesome than your spouse.
There are ways to gently discuss a wrong choice with your spouse. A snarky “I told you so” at ground zero is not ideal. When your husband tests his grill with seat attachment invention, saying “I told you so” whilst pulling the burning grates from his legs is the wrong time. Wait until his skin grafts have healed before broaching the subject.

3. Never argue and drive.
For reasons of safety, wait until you are home to have your disagreement. If it can’t wait, pull into the nearest Waffle House parking lot, get out and let it fly. Not only will you be glad that you did, but so will all the gawking college students and hipster dating couples.

4. Don’t be a jokester.
If your wife is sharing her perspective on the issue at hand and it reminds you of a funny story, keep your mouth shut. If her heartfelt monologue reminds you of an amusing video you saw on Youtube – make a mental note and share it later. Also, this is never the time to administer a wedgie.

Are there any other rules for arguing between spouses?
Ludicrous or legit, share your thoughts.