I made it back.
September is gone and I hardly have a recollection, yet my life has forever been changed.
Check out my awesome shirt and my ratty Israel beard.
You will be hearing about some things and stuff and such very soon.
Thank you for any thoughts you had concerning my trip overseas and if you actually offered any prayers for me or my family during my absence.
In just a few hours, I will be on a flight bound for Israel. I will be landing in Tel Aviv where for the next 15 days I will be hiking over 100 miles through various locations. I get to tour the country with a good friend of mine, Stuart Fuller (he is the pastor of Radius), as we follow our guide, Ray Vander Laan.
For Stuart and I, this trip is a big deal. You might better understand it this way — imagine Stuart and I were aspiring ping pong players and we got a call from Hao Wang to hang out for 2 weeks. If you can wrap your mind around that, you’ll get the idea.
I was browsing the toy aisle recently and I paused for a moment to check out the massive selection of Hot Wheels. I like to buy one for my son every now and again so I wanted to find the coolest car. Behind me were all of the toy guns where a very young boy was firing away with a blaze orange pistol.
The mom yanked the plastic piece from his tiny grip and said, (while glancing at me to make a connection) “I ain’t gonna git you no gun! Not ’til you know all about life an’ death (grinning at me)! Then you can go kill a dove, a deer or whatever you want (still trying to connect)! When we was young’ns, we didn’t git no gun ’til we was 8!”
…because at 8, you know all about life and death.
I think we all have been brought up with unique names for certain things — things that you only talk about amongst family. Things that aren’t normally discussed in public. Things for which your family used code words. I am talking about the unmentionables. I am talking about the names used to discuss the unmentionables. The unmentionables are those functions that occur naturally in the life of every person. The unmentionables are the processes that allow our bodies to break down food and get rid of it.
It was never considered polite to discuss these things openly in public, so my family (namely my Mom) came up with code words so that in any given situation, we could talk about such matters. As a grown man and considering these names used within the walls of my gentle upbringing, I find myself a bit perplexed.
Example.
Mom: Kevin, did you just freddy? Who freddied? Walt was it you? I thought I heard you freddy!
Freddy = flatulence
Another example.
Mom: Aww, do you have to make a sweetie? Does your belly hurt? Maybe you have to make a sweetie. Your freddies are pretty rank — I think your tummy is upset. Try making a sweetie.
Sweetie = excrement
Later in life, flatulence morphed into “popping and cracking”. What in the world?
Maybe these things aren’t actually unmentionable — maybe the ludicrous names our parents made up were unmentionable.
The other day I was out for some Mexican, and I came across something amazing — a small boy, about 2 or 3, that had to be a genius. I mean, there is no way that this little guy could be anything but.
There he was, sitting in a high chair in a restaurant, surrounded by a group of people that I could only assume was his family. They were all talking to one another — about this and about that (I could not understand them), and every now and again, they would say something to the little boy. The boy would respond and everyone would coo and smile. Here is the part that proves he was a genius — they were all speaking Spanish! Every single person at the table was speaking in Spanish, including — get this, the small boy! How amazing! And hats off to that family for being so committed to broadening the young lad’s horizon.
I don’t have a photo of the family, but the father looked a little like the man shown below.
What is the deal with nacho chips at the movie theatre? Not only are they ridiculously overpriced (+/- $6.25), but the cheese to chip ratio is way off. Five minutes into the movie and I am left with 15 somewhat stale chips and 1 soggy one that was slowly drowning in the small pool of cheese that made its way into the main chamber of the chip compartment.
I took my watch off today for the first time in almost 3 months.
I left my cell phone on the counter — unattended and turned off.
Our summer sessions of camp are over and on this day, the only thing I am concerned about is the sun going down upon the fun I am having with my children. Instead of worrying about who was filming free time, I had erected a make-believe car wash that consisted of our garden hose and a watering can (Their modes of transportation were a Big Wheel, a Radio Flyer Trike and a Cozy Cart). Instead of making sure that all of the campers were safely filing into chapel, I was soaking my children with copious amounts of chilly water whilst all the while singing my own version of “Car Wash”.
Working at the car wash
Do whatcha wanna do
At the car wash yeah
Got lotsa, lotsa water for you
They couldn’t get enough of the car wash. They kept coming back over and over and over again. Around and around they would go. Either their cars were getting dirty rather quickly, or they were glad to have their Daddy home. Really home.
It’s good to be home. Fully. Completely. Attentively.
The other day I was in Hendersonville, NC. I saw a business there that stirred my imagination. The establishment was called General Travel Agency.
Traveler: Yes, I am interested in taking a trip.
GTA: Excellent, how can we help you?
Traveler: I would like to go to Sydney, Australia. I hear that…
GTA: Wait, that sounds pretty specific. We deal with just general travel.
Traveler: But, you are a travel agenc…
GTA: General Travel Agency. Yes. But your travel is specific. We are not Specific Travel Agency. If you wanted to breeze by Australia or if you just wanted to check out Europe, we could help.
Traveler: But…
GTA: You must leave now.
