When it comes to children’s stories, why do certain vehicles get all the fanfare?
Why is it that some crazy cat named Mike and some old steam shovel gets the approval of the masses?
Why do a bunch of race cars fill the silver screen?
Why not a dump truck?

To me, it’s more real life.
How often does little Billy see a talking race car zip down his street?
Not often, I bet.
When was the last time little Sally watched a steam shovel dig the foundation for a new highrise three-story building?
Probably never.
I bet that tiny Johnny has seen a garbage truck.
I bet Mary Anne has held her nose as one passed while she and her friend Svetlana played pretend lawyer while on the sidewalk.
Therefore, I propose that a story should be told about Garbage Truck George.
He doesn’t talk.
He just drives around hating life with a bunch of dudes riding his back all the time.
Everyday, he gets stuffed with nasty refuse and leaves a wake of stench wherever his belching engine takes him.
No one wants to play with him.
He has a government job and doesn’t get along well with others.

So watch the book shelves at your local Wal-Mart or Dollar Store.
Garbage Truck George: Full of Crap and Hating It.
Coming soon.

What other vehicles would make for a great children’s story?

Now that Apple has changed how we read and publish books with iBooks Author, there no doubt will be a swarm of new “authors” that fill the space with their brain compost. Of course, there will be many rubbish books that contain sentences made of words that should never be that close together in a thought. Therefore, how do you stand out in this red ocean of contemporary “wordsmiths?”
Read on and add to the list.

1. Come up with a cool pen name
Make it flashy or scary. Something like Stephen Stalker or Killer Kevin Miller.

2. Add lots of photos
People love seeing themselves, so why not let them enjoy tons of photos of you! Bring them along for the 36 photo slideshow of when you visited your aunt in Deleware. Or when your dog went outside and you took 45 photos of the event.

3. Use funny video
Of course, you really need to sell this aspect of the iBook. Be sure that you are using your built-in camera, clutter the background behind you, and sing several songs from your favourite artist. Be sure to tell lots of jokes too.

4.  Make sure they see your iBook’s value
Nothing says value more than charging $9.99 for your introspective odyssey.

5. When in doubt, copy and paste
If you are struggling with writer’s block, don’t worry. There are so many books out there that no one is reading, they won’t know your book called “Considerable Assumptions” is actually an F. Scott Fitzgerald classic!

What else will make budding authors stand out?

It’s amazing what one can find on Amazon.
I have found some pretty crazy items, but this is the first time I have encountered a fail-proof business plan in action.
The man behind the plan is Richard Taylor.
But who is Richard Taylor?

To answer that question, we have to look at what he is doing.
Click on the screen cap below.

I happened upon this man with the plan whilst searching for a book recommended by my buddy Tyler.
As I looked for the best deal, I clicked on the “used books” option.
I scrolled down the list, going from cheapest to the most expensive – and there it was.
The book before Richard’s went for $25.
Richard’s went for, you guessed it (if you looked at the screen cap) – $999.
Did you notice that this guy also has a 5-star rating?
Genius.
I bet he is raking in the dough.
Swimming through it, like Scrooge McDuck.
That’s what I would do.
That’s what I will do when I open my online store where everything is $999.
I am going to call it, and I think Richard would smile on this – the “$999 Store.”
My tagline will be, “Just like the dollar store, only better in 998 more ways.”
I know it will take guts.
The kind of guts that it takes for someone to charge $999 for “Soft Shapes: Ducks (Baby’s First Book & Puzzle).”

So who is Richard Taylor?
(snort laugh)
You tell me.

Seriously, you tell me.

It took Bryan Allain hours to pound out his book, 31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo. Maybe even minutes.
Okay, it took some real time and some hard work, and it has paid off.
If you blog, read blogs or have thought about blogging, may I offer a few suggestions regarding the importance of reading his brand new book?

1. It is red
I like the colour red.

2. It has the word “mojo” in the title.
Mojo has always been associated with some sort of swagger or bragging opportunities. How can you not want that?

3. It limits itself to 31 days
With this book, you know it’s not going to take you a year to finish it. Also, you can read it along with your favourite devotional.

4. It’s only $4.99
C’mon.

5. Bryan knows what the heck he is talking about
Mr. Allain has been blogging for years and years. He has encountered problems associated with blogging and an online presence, and he has learned from them. His experience is poured into this book.

6. Bryan Allain is paying me $5,000 to write this
No he is not and I have just been contacted by his attorney.

So make your way to Amazon and get 31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo.
For a small investment, it offers a BIG payoff.

Have you ever wanted to have your own paper dolls that depicted characters from famous movies that featured dancing?
Neither have I.
But, if you did, boy howdy — did I find the book for you.

That’s right — it’s Famous Movie Dance Stars (Paper Dolls). You can even click on each photo to see it in brilliant 2D!

Have you ever wanted to play with a paper Kevin Bacon or a paper Lori Singer from the hit movie Footloose?
Got ‘em.

Don’t you love how their heads are eerily floating above their paper bodies?
Me too.
What is that?  How about Dirty Dancing?
Got that one too.

Ol’ Pat Swayze and Jennifer Grey have never looked more graceful.
But what about the famous scene from Scent of a Woman with Al Pacino and that other girl?

Give them an Oscar.

What other characters should be featured in paper doll form?

There really were no words for this sign.  I just had to take a picture of it.
Unfortunately, one of my favourite past times is to pick apart lame signs that sit in front of many churches.  I have thought many times that it would be funny to make a coffee table book about such signs — I just don’t think God would find it that humorous…but you never know.