Below you will find the top ten things I love about falling on a pile of broken glass with my hands full of the finest meats and cheeses in all of the land whilst attempting to walk for a charity that does not exist.

Number 10:

At long last I was able to recline, enjoy a meal and converse with Greg Boone.  We shared a few laughs, a few tears and a few delicious steaks.  His steak was slightly more bloody than mine, but we put our differences aside and got down to business.

Me: Greg, I’ve known you for many years and you’ve run the gamut of facial hair.  I believe when I first encountered you, you were sporting the stache — how long did you rock the stache?

Greg: I don’t know if I had just the stache when you met me… (trails off down memory lane)

Me: You just had the stache in ’97.

Greg: I had the stache for…(consults wife)  I think I had it from the time I was at least a sophomore in college.  From the time of say — 21 until now at 43, I have had at least a moustache on my face.  I’ve only been clean shaven once.

Me: And that was probably startling to all of your friends?

Greg: It was very startling.  My children ran — they didn’t recognize me.  Leanne would not have sexual relations with me at all until it grew back.

(a non-bearded listener gasps)

Me: (also startled) Wow…

(Greg’s wife, Leanne, delivers a flying Superman punch to Greg’s throat)

Me: You have run the gamut in facial hair.  You had the stache, you normally rock the goatee, but currently Greg — you are doing the full beard.  What is the community response?

Greg: So far it has been pretty good.  Once you’ve had the goatee, it’s not that dramatically different.  It does kind of change the jawline a little bit.  And of course I am growing the hair out at the same time.  It is sort of a mountain man thing happening.

Me: You are more burly than I have ever seen you.

Greg: I’m very burly.

Me: Now that you’ve had your beard for however long you’ve had it, what have you found to be troubling?

Greg: It’s probably the trimming.  Mine grows pretty far up (pointing to bottom of his eyelid).  It grows way up over the cheek bone.

Me: You always keep yours short — pretty close to your face.  I can’t do that because as you can see I kind’ve look like I have the mange (I point to my tattered little beard), but you can fill yours out and that is exciting for me for you.

Greg: Yes.

Me: Thanks.

Greg: You’re welcome.

For the full interview, double-click below for your listening pleasure.

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