As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.
Scenario: You have volunteered your time to be the coach for a little league soccer team and it’s the last practice.
Mancode #32: It’s common knowledge that every last practice involves some sort of giant, unbalanced scrimmage. The teams are typically you and your assistant coach versus the whole squad of little kids. It usually takes place at the end of the practice when the parents are becoming super restless after having spent every Tuesday evening watching from a camp chair.
When you blow the whistle, not only is it the signal for the start of the match, it also signals the time where you begin to show off. It is acceptable for you to relive your high school glory days as you square off against 11 children. Be sure to outpass, outrun, juke and dodge the massive and fumbling throng of tikes. When the kids do steal the ball from you, make sure you moan and groan in a playful fashion as if you meant for them to steal it. It is not acceptable for you to win however. Let the kids win.
And when you are in the midst of dazzling the kids and the moms with your skill, you will no doubt attempt to chip a ball over the heads of those tiny soccer players. And no doubt, your skill will fail and you will blast the smallest girl on your team right in the face from point blank range. When she falls, run to her immediately kind of sort of laughing as if everything is okay. Do not shriek as you help her to her knees and her face already resembles a catcher’s mitt. That’s when you administer a hug and quickly make solid eye contact with the girl’s parent who is rushing to the scene. Sort of laugh as you pass the disheveled child to the parent, and promptly dismiss practice as if it were all going to plan.
Who wants more Mancode?