In the town of Lumpkinville, North Carolina, the Lumpkin Watcher scratches words feverishly into his diary.
Is it a list of evildoers? No.
Is it a genius strategy of good overcoming evil? No.
Is it a “Like and Dislike” list? Yes.

Dear diary,

It’s so crazy that people go through life without making one of these here lists.
I saw it on a show my mom was watching and how it helped people sort stuff out.
The host of the show was yelling and the guests were crying but everyone was applauding.
So…here goes nothing!

Like: Thundercats
Dislike: cats in general

Like: Bacon
Dislike: Sausage (i know can you believe it?)

Like: Sleep
Dislike: Mom’s chores where I have to wear those dish-washing gloves

Like: Three’s Company (Jack is so funny and I want to be like him and I like Chrissy too)
Dislike: Having to ask Ricky if I can hang with him and Cheryl

Like: NOS
Dislike: Water

Like: Fighting crime in Lumpkinville
Dislike: the Man trying to get me down criminals in general

Like:
Love: Cheryl
Dislike: Ricky (don’t tell him i said that – he’d hate me forever/ beat the crap out of me)

-LW