Posts Tagged ‘fists’

Mancode #53 – Sports Sim

As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: You are forced to engage a small group of strangers for business reasons in a casual environment.

Mancode #53: Most dudes dread being in a small setting with people that are not their “boys.”  When you must be in the presence of strangers for business purposes, it can be especially nerve racking.  To avoid unnecessary awkwardness, there is a foolproof way to engage them without saying a word — it is called Sports Simulation.  This is the simple act of “practicing” your favourite action as it relates to sports.  Most guys resort to the golf swing.  Other guys prefer the swinging of the bat, while yet other guys will shadow box.  All of these are acceptable.  The Sports Simulation is best used when there is a lull in the conversation or when you are trailblazing about your high school glory days.  Use the Sports Simulation tactic carefully, or else you could get drafted by a passing sports agent while you are representing your company in a social setting.  If you sense you are being scouted, stop the Sim immediately and look for fist-bumps from those around you while you howl with maniacal laughter.

Mancode #443 – Fight

My next charity: water update will be Wednesday. Plan on sharing a story or two. You have a week, make today count.

As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: A guy challenges you to a fight.

Mancode #443: There are several things to consider here.  Does the guy have a beard?  If he does, you must then ask yourself if you have a beard.  If you are unsure, ask a friend or look in a mirror.  If you do have a beard, you then must gauge its level of awesomeness against your potential opponents beard.  If his beard kicks the crap out of your beard, chances are you will also have the crap kicked out of you.  If you don’t have a beard and he does, run away.  If you have a beard and he doesn’t, get ready to be the most sought after guy in the room.
Actually, when it comes to a fight, the beard is the only thing to consider.