In recognition of all of you that are trying to stick to the rule of No-Shave November (the simple rule that states: don’t shave your beard), I have a couple bits of ear candy that focuses on our follicles and also tickles our ears (like our beard hairs oft times do).

Clem Snide is described as being somewhat of an alt-country band.  I honestly don’t hear it.  What I do hear is a serene and a melodic stream of music that flows like a newly discovered creek that runs through a dense forest.
I adore their song of stubble called Beard of Bees. It is a gentle love song.  Burn the Light is another amazing offering by Clem Snide .

Neil Halstead also has a song for those with fuzzy faces.  In Baby, I Grew You a Beard, the British folk singer creates an ethereal tune focusing on growing his beard for the girl he loves.  What a lucky gal, yes?
Yes.
He also has another great tune called Elevenses. I loved it for the title.  I bought it and it gets a lot of play on my trusty iPod.

So, how is No-Shave November coming for those of you participating?
Maybe you are a dude that wants November to go all year long…
Maybe you are a lady reaping the enormous benefits of having a man with a sweet beard…  Maybe you are a lady ready for December…
Whatever the case — let your beard bashing/blazoning begin!

It is not very often that I get the chance to actually speak with someone of such renown.  Nate Rector has been mentioned in nearly every episode of The Trouble with Beards.  Every reference has to do with his amazing beard abilities.  Today, you get to experience the man, the myth — the beard.
By the way, Nate sounds pretty jacked-up at first because I had him put on headphones and listen to his own voice with a slight delay.  The effect is hilarious — he sounds like he has some serious problems.

Me: You have a beard, and you’ve been a topic of discussion before on The Trouble with Beards — Tyler Stanton and I have talked about you, maybe Walter Howard and I — the main focus, the main thrust where you always come up is the Wraparound.  Can you tell us what the Wraparound is?

Nate: (Laughing hysterically at his own voice.) I can.  I have the unfortunate blessing of being able to connect my beard hair with my neck hair.  The barber has to make a decision when he’s trimming my neck (More laughter.) …sorry.  Sorry.  About…wheneezee… (Again, more laughter.) Alright.  …about when he’s done trimming my neck and when he’s begun trimming my back.  It’s pretty embarrassing.

Me: So you take your shirt off at the barber?

Nate: No, but the neck of my crew necks does get stretched out.   A lot — as the barber just goes further and further south…(Voice trails.)

Me: Yikes.  So, it sounds like you get some pretty personal treatment from your barber.

Nate: I do.  Umm…uhh…hot…it’s not whipped cream, shaving cream, right?

Me: Wow.

Nate: (Laughter rising.) …and some whipped cream… Uh, Hal is — he’s got soft hands.  So he puts it on my neck and does a straight razor shave (Overwhelmed  with giddiness.)…

Me: Again, a reminder, Nate is hearing his voice on delay.  That’s why he sounds insane.

Nate: (Lots of grinning and nodding.)

Me: Nate, how do you determine where your beard line is?  You do have a Wraparound, but you are a Connector as well — where your chest hair will come up and shake hands with your beard.

Nate: I am a proud Connector.  Um, I joooish…that was funny…I just shave low enough so that there aren’t any escapees from my t-shirts.

Me: And escapees are?

Nate: Long hairs a la Burt Reynolds — that are creeping out of my shirt.

Me: So you just don’t want chest hair poking out of the top of your t-shirt — that’s what you are saying?

Nate: Right.

Me: You’ve probably had facial hair for a very long time.  I am guessing you started shaving in the 2nd grade — you are that burly.  What are some of the things that you’ve found particularly troubling with your beard?

Nate: Just for the record — I also, in addition to a beard, regularly French-kissed in 2nd grade as well.  Whuzz… (Voice trailing.)

Me: That’s an interesting side note.

Nate: I was kind of a lady-killer, know what I mean?

Me: Because you had a ‘stache in the 2nd grade?

Nate: Irresistible.

Me: Mhmm…

Nate: I forgot the question.

Me: Trouble with beards…what trouble have you experienced with your beard?

Nate: (Attempting to answer.) …can I get rid of these headphones now?

Me: Go ahead and take them off.

Nate: (Taking off headphones.) Everybody answers with the stock answer of “itchiness”, and you do have to power through that.  Everybody has to establish a jaw-line — where they are going to shave.  I actually have to establish a cheek-line as well.  I actually shave in between my eyes and my beard.

Me: So you have whiskers to the tops of your cheekbone?

Nate: Right, so I have to pick a good spot for a nice thick beard that doesn’t look like a chinstrap beard on my cheeks.

Me: Wow.  See, these are the things that regular folk are unaware of.  They pass people with beards all the time, and they never consider the trouble they go to just to step out the door — just to get themselves together in the morning.  So do you trim your beard every morning?  Is that sort of your morning routine?  And if you don’t, do you have whiskers on your eyelids?

Nate: I trim every 2 or 3 days, depending on how sloppy I am willing to look that day.  No out of control whiskers — I just look homeless if I don’t take care of it.

Me: I can see how that would happen.  Because you, like many other Beardies — not like me, but other Beardies have the uncanny ability to willingly make their facial hair grow.  I cannot.  The hair you see on my face, I started in September.  I still look like I have the mange, would you agree?

Nate: (Laughing at my sparse and inadequate beard.) Yes.  Yes.  It’s a championship beard for a 16-year old.  It’s wonderful.

Me: Well, you stink Nate.  Thanks a lot.

Nate: I don’t know what to say.

Me: That was a perfect ending.

To get to all of the jewels out of this conversation with Nate, double-click below for the full interview.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Tyler Stanton and I have been friends for many years.  We occasionally meet in Commerce, GA.  I call it our Commerce Mandate.  It makes it sounds official as if I have some serious business that needs my attention.  Someone asks, “What are you doing tonight?” and I can say boldly, “I have to attend to a Commerce Mandate.”  They nod in amazement.

(A Starbucks employee just informed us that we have 10 minutes until closing.  I tell her “cool” and Tyler takes a big swill from his cooling coffee)

Me: Tyler, right now you are sporting a pseudo beard.  In the length of time that I’ve known you, I don’t think I have ever seen a fat beard on you.  Is that true?

Tyler: I feel like — I mean we’ve known each other for awhile — I feel like I’ve had a number of beards throughout that time.

Me: No.  Never.  It’s been pretty much this (pointing to Tyler’s chin area).  The beard you are sporting looks like you forgot to shave this morning.

Tyler: I typically shave every fourth day.  Around day 2.5/3, it gets to be pretty awful.

Me: You have the uncanny ability to grow a 3 o’clock shadow.

Tyler: I started shaving when I was probably…11?

Me: Was that out of need or because you wanted to be a “shaver”?

Tyler: A little bit of both.  I think that I thought I was awesome at the time.  I had the ‘stache problem early on.

Me: We call that the Thinstache.

Tyler: Well, I had the Thinstache probably in 5th or 6th grade.  I was an early developer.  I thought I was awesome then…

(The oppressively loud sound of grinding fills the store)

Tyler: …sorry, I can’t concentrate anymore because of the espresso that is being made with 8 minutes left.  I forgot what I was saying.

Me: (Apparently thinking like an Austrailian) No worries.  You are also a Connector too, right?

Tyler: Do you connect?

Me: (Hanging head in shame)  Not at all.

Tyler: Well, you have a bare chest, don’t you?

Me: …yeah…

Tyler: People like Nate [Rector], Walter Howard, Jody — I think all of those guys can relate to what I am going through.  You have to choose a line and just go with it.

Me: You do a blog and I think you did a post about the beard line… you had some equation?

Tyler: It’s an equation that’s quite simple, but I feel like when dads teach their kids to shave, they should have it in their back pocket.

Me: I really didn’t understand the equation.

Tyler: The equation is this:  Beard Line < Jaw Line.  (Goes on to explain equation)  I feel like a bad beard line can make your somewhat fat neck look like a really fat neck.  Nobody wants that.  That’s where I gain weight is the neck region — first.  So whenever I gain weight…

Me: …it goes straight to the neck?

Tyler: (Nodding)  Straight to the neck.  It’s…  The jowell…

Me: That just sounds pretty gross.

Tyler: It’s a problem.

Me: Alright, we’re done here I think.

(Same Starbucks employee approaches our table to inform us that of the easily 2 minutes we actually have remaining, we are now out of time.  I protest and Tyler slowly looks to the floor and offers a sarcastic remark.)

To get to all of the nuggets out of this conversation with Tyler, double-click below for the full interview.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

At long last I was able to recline, enjoy a meal and converse with Greg Boone.  We shared a few laughs, a few tears and a few delicious steaks.  His steak was slightly more bloody than mine, but we put our differences aside and got down to business.

Me: Greg, I’ve known you for many years and you’ve run the gamut of facial hair.  I believe when I first encountered you, you were sporting the stache — how long did you rock the stache?

Greg: I don’t know if I had just the stache when you met me… (trails off down memory lane)

Me: You just had the stache in ’97.

Greg: I had the stache for…(consults wife)  I think I had it from the time I was at least a sophomore in college.  From the time of say — 21 until now at 43, I have had at least a moustache on my face.  I’ve only been clean shaven once.

Me: And that was probably startling to all of your friends?

Greg: It was very startling.  My children ran — they didn’t recognize me.  Leanne would not have sexual relations with me at all until it grew back.

(a non-bearded listener gasps)

Me: (also startled) Wow…

(Greg’s wife, Leanne, delivers a flying Superman punch to Greg’s throat)

Me: You have run the gamut in facial hair.  You had the stache, you normally rock the goatee, but currently Greg — you are doing the full beard.  What is the community response?

Greg: So far it has been pretty good.  Once you’ve had the goatee, it’s not that dramatically different.  It does kind of change the jawline a little bit.  And of course I am growing the hair out at the same time.  It is sort of a mountain man thing happening.

Me: You are more burly than I have ever seen you.

Greg: I’m very burly.

Me: Now that you’ve had your beard for however long you’ve had it, what have you found to be troubling?

Greg: It’s probably the trimming.  Mine grows pretty far up (pointing to bottom of his eyelid).  It grows way up over the cheek bone.

Me: You always keep yours short — pretty close to your face.  I can’t do that because as you can see I kind’ve look like I have the mange (I point to my tattered little beard), but you can fill yours out and that is exciting for me for you.

Greg: Yes.

Me: Thanks.

Greg: You’re welcome.

For the full interview, double-click below for your listening pleasure.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I sat down with Jody “Shoebox” Deming one Fall afternoon, and he began to muse upon life, liberty and the pursuit of beards.  His surely is a noble quest as you will find for yourself.

Me: Jody, you are a fellow Beardy, true?

Jody: That is true.

Me: In the length of time that I have known you, this is the first time I have seen you with such an extensive beard.  When did you find that you could start growing a beard?

Jody: (A sheep runs through the room)  When I was 12 years old.

Me: 12 years old?  Did you start growing a beard when you were 12 or did you start with a moustache?

Jody: I had the thin 12 year old moustache for quite a while.  I actually could have shaved and had the beard but I just figured, “No, I will just go with the 12 year old moustache.”  All the chicks were digging it back then.

Me: In beard communities we call that the Thinstache.

Jody: The Thinstache.  That’s exactly right.

Me: Jody, you have talked of a dilemna recently.  You normally shave your head, but you have a beard now.  Have you made any sort of decisions about that?

Jody: I am thinking about being the “shaved head guy with a beard” — that may happen tonight.

Me: I look forward to seeing that tomorrow.

Jody: I live on the edge.

Me: What have you noticed that is troubling about having a beard?

Jody: The traditional troubling thing with beards is the food — that gets caught in here (points to face).  Sometimes I’ll eat a hamburger and a little cheese will get caught in my beard and it just drives me crazy. Where is that cheese smell coming from?

Me: It’s from your face.

Jody: Most of the time.

Me: Have you done any sort of calculating — have you found that you save money by growing a beard instead of shaving?

Jody: I am actually now a millionaire.

Me: So would you recommend that people grow beards?

Jody: No.

Me: Thank you.

For the full interview, double-click below for your listening pleasure.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.