I remember when I was a young lad and new to the concept of prayer.  I remember saying things like:
“God, bless Mom and Dad.”
“God, please bless my teacher, Mrs. Kuenzli, she has a cold.”
“God, please bless my house — it is old and creaks.”
I also recall something that may have been the boldest prayer a little kid could offer.  I figured that after all that blessing God was doing, he probably was pretty tired.  I literally remember mouthing the following phrase:
“God, while you are at it — why don’t you go ahead and bless Yourself.”

What is the oddest thing for which you’ve prayed?  Did you ever talk to God like He was a magic genie in a lamp/church?

I was browsing the toy aisle recently and I paused for a moment to check out the massive selection of Hot Wheels.  I like to buy one for my son every now and again so I wanted to find the coolest car.  Behind me were all of the toy guns where a very young boy was firing away with a blaze orange pistol.
The mom yanked the plastic piece from his tiny grip and said, (while glancing at me to make a connection)  “I ain’t gonna git you no gun!  Not ’til you know all about life an’ death (grinning at me)!  Then you can go kill a dove, a deer or whatever you want (still trying to connect)!  When we was young’ns, we didn’t git no gun ’til we was 8!”

…because at 8, you know all about life and death.

The other day I was out for some Mexican, and I came across something amazing — a small boy, about 2 or 3, that had to be a genius.  I mean, there is no way that this little guy could be anything but.

There he was, sitting in a high chair in a restaurant, surrounded by a group of people that I could only assume was his family.  They were all talking to one another — about this and about that (I could not understand them), and every now and again, they would say something to the little boy.  The boy would respond and everyone would coo and smile.  Here is the part that proves he was a genius — they were all speaking Spanish!  Every single person at the table was speaking in Spanish, including — get this, the small boy!  How amazing!  And hats off to that family for being so committed to broadening the young lad’s horizon.

I don’t have a photo of the family, but the father looked a little like the man shown below.

This is embarrassing, but it is true.

When I was a kid, I used to think that your kidneys looked like white Hershey Kisses and were located in your shoulder area.  I also thought that your feelings resided in your teeth — your sadness or happiness could actually be located in your molars.  If that was not bad enough, I also thought that the complex inner workings of your body consisted of a long tube that went down to your stomach — no doubt having watched many indigestion commercials.  Last but not least, I would like to thank many Valentine’s Day card exchanges for my understanding of the elaborate heart that kept me alive.  Also, thanks to the Pledge of Allegiance for causing me to think that my heart was where my left lung hangs out.  For any clarification, please see the diagram below.

This is a rare photo of the Easter Bunny.  He is riding with me on that lonely little kid ride at some desolate park.  Do you see him?

Exactly.

One of the best things in the world:  finding a movie that your dad and mom made of you when you were a kid
One of the worst things in the world:  being a kid and finding a movie that your dad and mom made