Sometimes a man has to cry. When he does, people make a big deal out of it. They say things like, “Wow, he is so sensitive and in touch with himself.” Others say, “What a big fat baby. Look at him cry. KEEP CRYING FAT BABY MAN! KEEP CRYING!”
I happen to be a real sensitive guy, but I am also a man among men. Therefore, in order to not draw attention to myself, I have decided to cry all the time. That way, when I really do need to cry, no one will ever know.
Thomas Kinkade: (Painting a soft woodsy scene.) Hey, look at that guy. He just smashed his hand in his car door. Is he crying? He can’t be. Look at him. He is a man if I ever saw one, but still — I can see bone. He has to be crying.
Matt Damon: (Looking up from the script I just gave him.) Nah. That’s just what he does. (Looking back to script.) This guy, Kevin, is a genius.