I am not normal.
In fact, I have entertained the thought that I may actually be superhuman.
My hearing is heightened, I can detect changes in the atmosphere, I can feel things others find imperceptible and so on.
The unfortunate side to these superhuman strengths are how they would make me super vulnerable.

In a freshly painted warehouse, some crooks are fiendishly packing boxes full of stolen jeans. SuperKev bursts through the door in normal-fitting attire.

SuperKev: Stop right there, villians!
Villians: Oh, no! It’s SuperKev!
SuperKev: That’s right, it is me! And you are all going to jai… woah. What’s that smell?
Villians: [glancing to one another] Uh…the place was painted recently? Maybe that’s it? Why?
SuperKev: Don’t the fumes make you feel weird? I think I can actually taste it… and my nose feels numb.
Villians: No, we are okay. We’ve bee…
SuperKev: Do you guys hear that exhaust fan? I think it might have a loose belt.
Villians: [reaching for a pair of pants]
SuperKev: It’s really hot in here too. Wow, I really need some air.

The villians get back to packing as SuperKev slowly exits holding his head.

Do you have some strange quirks that you would dare share on this blog?

Sometimes a man has to cry.  When he does, people make a big deal out of it.  They say things like, “Wow, he is so sensitive and in touch with himself.”  Others say, “What a big fat baby.  Look at him cry.  KEEP CRYING FAT BABY MAN!  KEEP CRYING!”
I happen to be a real sensitive guy, but I am also a man among men.  Therefore, in order to not draw attention to myself, I have decided to cry all the time.  That way, when I really do need to cry, no one will ever know.

Thomas Kinkade: (Painting a soft woodsy scene.) Hey, look at that guy.  He just smashed his hand in his car door.  Is he crying?  He can’t be.  Look at him.  He is a man if I ever saw one, but still — I can see bone.  He has to be crying.
Matt Damon: (Looking up from the script I just gave him.) Nah.  That’s just what he does.  (Looking back to script.) This guy, Kevin, is a genius.