In case you have been living under a rock for the last 5 years, let me say this – I am sorry that your living conditions have become so poor that you have been forced to reside under a slab of stone.
In addition to that, I am convinced that Vibram 5 Fingers make you smarter.
Though many people frown at them and will also feign physical violence to the wearer, I think the general public needs to be open to the idea that these shoes will better your running experience as well as your mind, and here is why:
1. When you are running, because of the almost-barefoot design, you are able to feel your terrain and react accordingly. Instead of clopping your horse feet over a rock that could cause a rolled ankle, with the 5 Fingers, your mind is more tuned-in to what’s under you. In a nanosecond, your brain processes the potential hazard and makes you shift your weight and swing your arm upward to avoid the obstacle.
2. Because you are running in almost bare feet, you must always be aware of your footfall. Rocks, roots, glass, hobos – you want to be sure that where you are placing your foot has the best possible topography. Because you only have milliseconds to decide where to step, your mind is forced into becoming almost precognizant – sensing where you must step before you actually know where you must step.
3. No doubt, when you wear the 5 Fingers, you will be mocked by someone. These insults may be hurled by your best friends as well as the occasional hobo you pass whilst running downtown. No problem. Because your mind has already been sharpened from running on rough terrain, your witty and sharp comebacks will sting all the more. Instead of a classic “no, you are” comeback, you will find yourself retorting with a reference to famed Russian author Leo Tolstoy, as well as trigonometry.
Who’s the fool now?
4. The 5 Fingers awaken, engage and strengthen the senses and muscles that are not used while wearing traditional running shoes. That’s a good thing. For when you are being pursued by the mob of people you have stunned with your sharp and intelligent comebacks, not only will you have the speed to pull ahead of the pack, but you will also possess the mental acuteness to quickly determine where you can seek shelter and hide.
5. After offending all of your friends and loved-ones, you will have superior health and intellect on your side as you assume your new life with a new identity. But keep running in your Vibram 5 Fingers – you never know when you will have to relocate.
Have you tried the 5 Fingers?
What are your thoughts?