Have you ever launched a text out to someone and that person never responded?
Was there a time that you crafted a “hilarious” text, sent it to your buddy – but not even a “haha” was returned?
Maybe you were in a crisis – you couldn’t decide between two restaurants – and you have not eaten since?
Let’s look at a few possible reasons why:

1. Too much swearing
No one likes to receive texts that make no sense because of a paragraph-long string of profanities. Try to cut down on all of the cursing.

2. The person you’ve texted has a new phone number
It has been a few days since you have talked to your friend, but you never know – they may have a new phone. It is always wise to write a letter about your concern, put it in an envelope, add a stamp, take it to the post office, and then mail it. Once your friend has written their response (and had it notarized) and confirmed that their number has not changed, text away!

3. The recipient of your text feels dumb
Texting phrases like, “? hvnt u txtd bk??!” and “if u dont txt bk, i kill u & ur fmly” – can make you look like you have a superior intellect. Try to be aware of the other person’s feelings. Use complete phrases like, “If you do not respond right now, I will track you down like the dog you are and make you curse the day you were born.” Speak in their language.

No way is this an exhaustive list, but it is a great place to start.
Keep these things in mind as you craft your next text about laughing out loud, texting, Justin Birberbe or just going to the local swimming pool – people will be returning your texts in no time.

Have I missed any reasons why people do not respond to texts?

Tom Jarvis sits in the doctor’s office one day, feeling a bit uneasy about what his scans may show.  In nervous expectation, he looks at an entertainment magazine that is 2 years old and features a newly wed couple on the front that recently went through a big divorce with plenty of media coverage.  The doorknob twists then opens…

Nurse: Mr. Jarvis, the doctor will see you in just a moment.  Just so you know, he is a little… unique?

Tom: [Nervously] Unique?  What do you mean by that?

Nurse: Well, let’s just say that… Dr. [pauses] Smurf is a bit… eccentric?

Tom: What are you saying?

Nurse: [Whispering] Okay, listen – Dr. Watkins is going through some sort of life crisis.  We don’t know what the heck to make of it, but he owns this joint, okay?  I wanna keep getting paid, because I have too many mouths to feed at my house and I also just got a sweet Chrysler Sebring.  It’s a convertible.  [With a bright sing-song tone] Okay then — the doctor will be in shortly.

The nurse exits and Tom stares blankly at the credentials on the wall.  Then he reads a poster that says, “Kiss a non-smoker and taste the difference!”  Once again, the doorknob twists, then opens.  In steps a grown man without a shirt.  He is wearing white spandex pants and K-Swiss shoes.  Atop his head sits something like a chef’s hat from a comic strip.  His entire body appears to be painted blue.

Doctor: Hello, Tom.  I am Dr. Smurf.  Smurfy day we are having, yeah?

Tom: [Stares at the doctor like a slack-jawed statue]

Dr. Smurf: I understand.  I get it — you are waiting for your news.  Well, it’s not very smurfy.  In fact, you could say that you might have to consider a smurfy procedure.

Tom: [Gathering himself]  Uhh… uh.  Wh-what?  Uh — are you serious?

Dr. Smurf: Mr. Jarvis, I never kid.  I am always quite serious.

Tom: Okay, so what is happening exactly?  Is this a joke?

Dr. Smurf: It’s no joke.  I was looking at your scan and there is no way you can smurf through this kind of smurf without medical smurf.

Tom: [Shaking his head in disbelief]

Dr. Smurf: [Leaning in and lowering his voice]  Look Tom, let me level with you — you are smurfed.  Can I be that honest with you?  Sorry, I just want to be real.  I have never seen this level of smurf in my career.  You are just plain smurfed.

Tom: So, what does that mean?

Dr. Smurf: Well, if I were pressed for what you might be looking at, I would say you have about smurf to smurf chances to smurf.

Tom: [Stares at the doctor]

Dr. Smurf: I know.  Now that is smurfed up.  Sorry, am I being too real?  I am sometimes accused of that.  [Adjusts his white chef-style hat and stands and hands Tom some papers]  Tom, read up.  There is a lot of smurfy information in here that should help you smurf the best decision.  I have also given you my cell number in case you wanna go smurfing sometime.

Tom: [Shakes head and lets out a quiet squeak]

Dr. Smurf: I know, I know.  It’s the least I could do.  My nurses are always smurfing me and saying that I get too close to my patients.  [Smiles]  But what can I say — I am just a smurf, right?

Tom: [Nods blankly]

Dr. Smurf: Alright Tom [raises hand for a high-five that is not reciprocated]… you can see the smurf on your way out and she will smurf your payment for the day.  I hope you still have that smurfy insurance ol’ Bill gives you guys over at the plant — how is that ol’ smurf anyway?

Tom: [Struggling to speak]  He [clears throat] …uh, he just fired me.

Dr. Smurf: [Takes a sharp breath and grimaces]  Yikes.  That smurfs.  [Smile returns]  Keep it smurfy, Tom!

The door closes and Tom says something that sounds like, “I will.”