When you were growing up, were you known for something awesome? Did your pals say, “Hey! Here comes ol’ [enter cool name based upon something you do]!” Did you have a moniker on the back of your intramural jersey?
If you answered “no” to these questions – you need a nickname.
Today, I offer you tips on acquiring a nickname that will stick.

1. Set something on fire.
This works especially well if your name starts with the letter “P.” For example, “Pyro Pete.” See how easy it is?

2. Start signing official documents with your desired nickname.
Nothing gets the attention of people of note faster than when you sign your foreclosure with “Hot Rod McDonald.” Hey – they might even let you keep your house!

3. Have custom printed t-shirts made.
This one is tricky. After having these shirts made, you’ll want to wear them all the time. Even at your fancy law office. It may cost you your job, but hey – what is it worth to you?

4. Forge newspaper articles with Photoshop about your high school exploits
This is cake. If you are a monkey you could do this. And, you can create some fun memories to share in the process – especially how “Streak” scored that goal in the last few seconds.

Good luck with your journey to nickname infamy.
If you have any other ideas, leave them here!