In the town of Lumpkinville, North Carolina, the Lumpkin Watcher scratches words feverishly into his diary.
Is it a list of evildoers? No.
Is it a genius strategy of good overcoming evil? No.
Is it a “Like and Dislike” list? Yes.

Dear diary,

It’s so crazy that people go through life without making one of these here lists.
I saw it on a show my mom was watching and how it helped people sort stuff out.
The host of the show was yelling and the guests were crying but everyone was applauding.
So…here goes nothing!

Like: Thundercats
Dislike: cats in general

Like: Bacon
Dislike: Sausage (i know can you believe it?)

Like: Sleep
Dislike: Mom’s chores where I have to wear those dish-washing gloves

Like: Three’s Company (Jack is so funny and I want to be like him and I like Chrissy too)
Dislike: Having to ask Ricky if I can hang with him and Cheryl

Like: NOS
Dislike: Water

Like: Fighting crime in Lumpkinville
Dislike: the Man trying to get me down criminals in general

Like:
Love: Cheryl
Dislike: Ricky (don’t tell him i said that – he’d hate me forever/ beat the crap out of me)

-LW

Have you ever been working on the railroad?  Working real hard?  And you are thinking about your one and only?  With every whack of your hammer on that cold steel you thought about them?  And then as you eat your dinner by a fire at night, you look up at the stars and dream about a someday far away?

I haven’t really either.
But if I did, this song would repeat on my iPod as I sweated it out working for the Man.
Maybe if I were working for the Man, on a railroad, I wouldn’t have an iPod.
Because working on a railroad line probably means that it is quite some time ago.
Before iPods were even a glimmer in Apple’s eye.
I guess I would just have to sing this song over and over again.
Kind of on repeat.
But maybe if I did sing the song repeatedly, I would die a premature death because of the other guys working for the Man — the Man would have gotten them down so badly that they would drive a railroad spike into my skull to quiet me.
All good.
At least I died thinking about my one and only.
And I wouldn’t be working for the Man anymore.
It’s win-win.

(By the way, Mason Jennings sings an amazing song called “Empire Builder.”  It is about some guy that is working on a railroad line thinking about his one and only.  It is smooth and somehow the song lulls you into thinking that you can sing as well as Mason Jennings.  Get this song today.)

Are there other songs that when you sing them, you honestly believe that you could kidnap the lead singer, step up to his/her mic, and no one would notice?
What song are you itching to belt out in a Karaoke dive?
Has the Man ever tried to get you down?
You will never get ahead by saying “Yes” to the man — don’t believe me?  Watch below to hear from Mr. Bobby Conn.