Posts Tagged ‘Transformers’

Bus Stop

School is back in, and as I drive down the road in the almost pre-dawn hours, I am reminded of those formative mornings spent waiting for my bus. My bus stop was in my neighbourhood, and several kids gathered there daily.
And we all had to pass the time, waiting for the bus.

How to Wait for the School Bus:

1. Try to cram in 5 chapters of reading
Somehow, we thought that it was possible to cram in a week’s worth of reading as we waited. When the bus finally arrived, we would get ticked at the bus driver and display our anger with indifferent glances as she watched us in that giant mirror-thing (shudder).

2. Get in a fight
One of my dear childhood friends arrived one morning with a roll of quarters in his fist. He asked if we wanted to see him punch Mike. We of course agreed with his proposition. When an oblivious Mike walked up, my buddy quickly picked a fight and landed several well-placed blows to Mike’s nose causing it to bleed severely. I am certain that it was an amazing ride to school that morning for Mike.

3. Smoke a cigarette from a 2 week old pack of Marlboros
The best way to say, “I am cool and I have an older sibling,” is to casually pop a dry cig between your lips while talking about an episode of “Inspector Gadget.”

4. Eat a Pop Tart and laugh while talking about the TV in your room, your Nintendo, your boat and your Transformers
I have to say that nothing killed me more than this one. I always wanted Pop Tarts for breakfast, but alas, we could only afford Toast ‘Ems.

5. Warm your hands in the exhaust of the bus
Hey man, it was the freaking dead of winter in Ohio. When you didn’t have gloves, you had to improvise (side effect included wreaking of diesel all day).

How did/do you spend time at the bus stop?

Where Are They Now? Gobots

Announcer: You are listening to 1010, WKEV FM.  Up next, Where are They Now? with host, Corby Tender.

Corby: Welcome to Where are They Now? I am your host, Corby Tender, and joining me in the studio are a few members of the Gobots: there’s Jet-Guy and (to the other Gobot) you sort of look like a motorcycle, so I will call you Cycle Guy. Welcome to the show fellas.
Jet-Guy:
Thank you, I guess. I will have you know that my name is Guardian 1…
Cycle Guy:
…and my name is Cy-Kill! Do you get the play on words? I am a cycle, and I…
Corby:
Yeah, I think we get it. So, let’s just address the obvious — you guys are not Transformers, right?
Jet-Guy:
(laughs to self and glances nervously at Cy-Kill) Uh…no. We are not. You wouldn’t believe how often we…
Cycle Guy:
What my bumbling enemy is trying to say is that…
Corby:
(cutting him off) Do you know how much you guys stunk the place up in the 80′s? Do you? Can you even comprehend your impact on many a young boy on his birthday or Christmas?
Jet-Guy:
I don’t understand.
Corby:
You guys were the knock-offs. The replacements. The stand-in toys for Transformers. When moms and dads around the country couldn’t afford Transformers, they grabbed you and disappointed kids everywhere.
Cycle-Guy:
You can hardly blame us for…
Corby:
Quiet Cycle-Guy! Just shut your face!
(Cycle-Guy and Jet-Guy exchange anxious glances)

Corby:
(beginning to get emotional) Do you know how badly I wanted Optimus Prime? Do YOU? Do you know how many times I rode home on the bus and watched as my friends played with their Transformers: Optimus Prime, Megatron…even the Dinobots? I think I touched Optimus Prime one time. ONCE! And it was on the bus when my buddy Chris asked if I would pass Prime to the kid behind me who had a gym bag full of Transformers. That kid probably had a bag of Capri Suns and Fruit Roll Ups too. (hangs his head and cries)
Cycle Guy:
Sounds like someone needs a taste of energy blasts from my fist! (raises arm which quickly begins to shake) Who am I kidding? I am no Megatron. I wanted to be. (whispering to himself) So badly I wanted to be like him. (begins to weep)
Jet-Guy:
(trying to play it cool) Come on, fellas! Why do our interviews always end the same way? We get railed by some guy with adolescent scars and then Cy-Kill caves under the weight of it all. That’s it. I am not gonna sit around and take this. C’mon, Cy-Kill!  Let’s transform, and roll out!
(Corby looks at Jet-Guy)

Jet-Guy:
(mortified) Oh my gosh.  Did I just say that out loud? (Jet-Guy quickly changes into an F-15 fighter jet and blasts his way out of the studio leaving Corby and Cycle-Guy in a pool of tears and oil)
Corby:
(looks up in a hysterical rage and shakes his fist at Jet-Guy who has just broken the sound barrier above the studio)
Your cartoon sucked Jet-Guy!

Announcer: Uh…(coughs) We hope you’ve enjoyed Where are They Now? with host, Corby Tender.  If you have lost track of someone or something through the years, contact our 1010 WKEV studios and let us know.  You can e-mail us at 11ty@kevinkeigley.com or leave your comment below.

Coffee McGhee

I have a confession to make.
I might be addicted to coffee.
I can remember a time where the thought of drinking coffee repulsed me.
Then I remember when the smell was attractive, but still I could not fathom pouring it down my gullet.
But then, in one night of desperation, I had to stay alert.  I poured a cup.  After adding loads of sugar and creamer, I lifted the steaming mug and sipped.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.
Today I am a coffee snob of sorts.  I make great effort to purchase all of my coffee at our local coffee store, Leopard Forest Coffee Company.  Not only are they staffed with super-human people and led by one who shares my vision on buying local and supporting community, but they also produce a fine bean.
Now I am buying whole beans and grinding them.  Savouring the aroma as it is ground.  Growing impatient for a taste as the almost-tangible flavour wafts through the quiet morning atmosphere after a hard run.
I have a handcrafted mug (featured in the photo) that has been granted the privilege to hold my liquid deliciousness.
I prefer dark roasts with a drizzle of Italian Sweet Cream.
I think it is because of my desire and passion for coffee that has caused my friends to call me Coffee McGhee.
Or maybe it is because I had my name legally changed to Coffee Laughypants McGhee.
Either way, I must confess, I love coffee.