The following is an interview with fellow Beardy, Walter Howard.

After having just filled our bellies with food from Zesto’s Grill (your typical Italian/Greek/American restaurant), Walter opened up and shared his heart regarding the highs and the lows of having a beard.

Me: Walter, you and I have known each other for how long now?

Walter: About two years.

Me: I don’t think that’s right, but for the sake of the interview we’re going to press forward.  You are sporting a pretty nice beard, is this something you do every year?

Walter: I usually try it for a little bit — usually about once or twice a year.

Me: Why do you give up?

Walter: (While gently petting a horse)  I usually can’t persevere through the itchy phase.

Me: When did you first realize you could actually grow a beard?

Walter: I think when I was seven.

Me: Seven?  That is pretty early.

Walter: (Approving nod)

Me: Now I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I think that you are a Connector.  By Connector I mean that you can grow a beard all the way down to your chest.  Is that true?

Walter: (Puts saddle on horse)  Unfortunately yes, yes it is.

Me: How do you know where to top shaving?

Walter: (Climbs onto horse and settles into the saddle)  I think it comes down to personal choice.  I mean, everybody decides how far they want the beard to go down.  It’s really about accenting the chin.  You want to draw the chin into it.  When I say, “That’s enough chin”, then usually I shave from there down.

Me: What do you find most troubling about having a beard?

Walter: It’s not as easy as I thought it would be.  I am pretty symmetrical — pretty detailed , so just keeping all those guys under control probably.

Me: So the fact that your beard is not symmetrical, that’s the most troubling part?

Walter: (Visibly irritated)  When it’s not, I mean, the effort of keeping it symmetrical — yes.

Me: Thank you for your time.

Walter: You’re welcome, thank you (Rides into sunset).

For the full interview, double-click below for your listening pleasure.

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The following is an interview with fellow Beardy, Cole Harden

I sat down with Cole at a crowded little coffee joint on the campus of Gardner Webb University.  I have known Cole to sport a pretty fat beard in the past, but this time, his beard was “neatly” trimmed because apparently Cole “needs a job”.

Me: Hi, Kevin here from Broad River Coffee Company right across the street from Gardner Webb University in… are we in North Carolina?

Cole: Yes.

Me: Okay, in North Carolina.  Could you please, for official reasons, state your name — your full name?

Cole: Brian Nicholas Harden, otherwise known as Cole.

Me: Could you please spell that for me?

Cole: (Begins to trouble me by spelling his name)

Me: That’s, that’s good enough.  Could you please describe for me when you realized you had potential to grow a beard?

Cole: Well, I guess I was…15?

Me: 15…that is kind’ve early.  Did you start with the Thinstache or go right for the beard?

Cole: I went all out.  I’m kind’ve lazy so I just kinda went with it to see what would grow.

Me: Now, with your beard, is it a full wrap-around beard that connects from the front to the back or is it mostly confined to the front portion of your body?

Cole: (Offers a humourously puzzled look)

Me: Does it connect with your chest hair?

Cole: No, I wish.  I’m not quite that lucky.

Me: Nor am I.  What have you noticed about having a beard that proves to be troublesome?

Cole: It’s not so much having the beard that’s troublesome.  It’s shaving.

Me: Mhmm.

Cole: That is the troubling part.

Me: So the trouble with your beard is that it interrupts your laziness?

Cole: It does.  It just keeps growing and I can’t do anything about it.

Me: Thanks a lot.

For the full interview, double-click below for your listening pleasure.

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People think that it is easy having a beard.  They think that life is a walk in the park.  They think that things come easy to bearded folk just because we have hair on our faces.  The general public thinks that people with beards possess magic and have pet dragons.  I beg to differ.
In the coming weeks, I plan to discuss the trouble with beards — the highs and the lows of being a man with an abundance of hair on his face.
I would also like to give you a chance to contribute.  If you are dude (or a brave girl) and you have a beard and a story, please send proof of both.
It is time for us to speak.