You must submit a letter to yourself when you were 18.
Think of the potentially life-altering wisdom you could pour out onto the worldwide Interweb.
You might actually change the life of an 18 year old human being (though they probably wouldn’t listen).
At any rate, you could at least have a meaningful, cathartic and hilarious time of reflection.
Posts Tagged ‘Tyler Stanton’
You must submit a letter to yourself when you were 18.
There are times when you just can’t get enough of a good thing.
Not long ago, Tyler Stanton and I took our oldest sons on the first of many Mantrips.
I wrote about it using wry wit and calculated humour.
Tyler writes of this adventure using flannelgraph and a styrofoam cup.
Check out his perspective right here.
A new tradition has been started between the Keigley Men and the Stanton Men.
It has been dubbed Mantrip (and then we cleverly add the year).
Tyler and I decided that we should ease our way into such a manly trip with our sons.
We briefly considered living off the fat of the land for a week, but decided to rough it at Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC.
It was amazing.
After returning safely to our homes, I created a list of a few things you should consider before embarking on your first Mantrip:
1. Need to Have a Son or Two
I have 2 and Tyler has 2.
It is perfectly fine to not take your boys, but if you have them, they should be included in the beard-strengthening event.
2. Have a Destination Planned
Be sure to have a good place to go.
Make a plan ahead of time, and be sure to go the wrong way for at least 30 miles at some point.
3. Bring a Plastic Barrel of Cheese Balls
Not necessary, but draws lots of attention from people at Wal-Mart while the Cheese Balls are being purchased.
This could create an opportunity for you to talk about the Mantrip and test your knowledge of the event.
4. Have an Obscene Amount of Fun/Adventure
For us, it was watching our boys dive into uncharted waters. Literally.
We were able to see them face a fear, laugh at it and then want to do it again and again.
5. Tell the Tale
Upon returning, be sure to have your stories straight so that some of your embellished accounts check out at both camps.
Be sure to use fresh wounds or scabs for visuals as you recall the events of the trip.
If you have taken your little dudes on a Mantrip, what other details should we know?
Recently I was interviewed by David Robbins. He showed up when I wasn’t expecting him.
Or was I? I wasn’t.
He really put me on the spot.
It was a little unnerving, and it didn’t help that he was wearing a giant taco costume.
You can read all about it at (imagine I drew an arrow back up to David’s name)…
If you could choose anyone in history to interview you (besides David Robbins), who would you choose and why?
Most of you that read this blog will know that there was a F0 tornado that swept through camp where I work. Not only did that tornado bring some minor devastation to our camp, but it also brought a whirlwind of media attention. Having a little television experience, I ended up being the point man. I snapped some photos of the downed trees and sent them in to our local network affiliate.
The station liked them.
Maybe too much.
After my photos hit the 11 o’clock news, my phone rang. It was the station asking if I would mind doing a live remote at 5AM the next morning. I accepted, and my path to local stardom began.
I arrived at the location of the remote broadcast at 4:45AM having donned my finest man-wear — Carhart pants, Columbia jacket and a sweet cap featuring my camp’s initials on the front.
The camera rolled and so did all the dollar bills. I started getting $5,000 a gig. The local media couldn’t get enough of my description of the tornado — how it “sounded like a freight train” or how the “trees were topped as if Paul Bunyan himself laid waste to the camp with his axe.”
As the sun rose, my fame was skyrocketing. At least 2 or 3 channels had my face on the top story intro. People were sticking products in my hand so that I could endorse them in my interviews. A pro football player by the name of Walter Payton asked me if I would wear his new brand of K-Swiss shoes. I told him that I didn’t think those cameras would be focusing on my feet, but for an extra $200, I would wear them.
By 5′oclock, I had purchased a limo made of diamonds, I had nearly OD’d on Pixie Stix candy (I was buying by the box) and I demanded that everyone call me Mr. Media Magicface Donaldsonton.
But my fame was short-lived. For not long after 5:05PM, I noticed that my cell phone made of bronze stopped ringing. I also noticed that though I demanded to be called Mr. Media Magicface Donaldsonton, my name appeared as Dan Hill on one broadcast (coincidentally, that same station burned to the ground that night). Not only was I being ignored and being misrepresented, but my long time manager of 3 hours quit and started working for some guy that saw an image of Jesus on his toast.
I was on my way out and I knew it.
The nail in the coffin was when I was confused with Tyler Stanton in an image I had provided. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to get out. I had to leave. I had to get away from it all.
I went home.
Across the street.
And that is where I am this very day, writing to you about the rise and fall of a media darling.
That’s me, the media darling.
I am available for birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs and car shows.
There is a certain kind of joy you experience when you find legitimate mail waiting for you in your mailbox. There is a certain kind of sorrow you feel when you find a load of junk mail waiting for you. What brings about conflicting emotions is when you find a piece of junk mail, like some lame catalog called Woman Within, addressed to “Master Kev.”
I have also received a catalog featuring fashionable canes and walking sticks.
Thank you Tyler Stanton and thank you catalogs.com for making all of this possible.
Why is it that I cannot escape Tyler Stanton? When I do a search for my name through Google, a link pops up where I am providing a sweet review of his book. There was also a time when an image search for me would yield a photo of Tyler, and I was nowhere to be found. When people come to my site, Top Searches include Tyler (see photo evidence below).
Who is this Tyler Stanton?
Is he some sort of magical unicorn that fell from the heavens?
(And does it make me sound a narcissistic that I have been Googling my own name?)
(Yes it does.)
Don’t forget about the giveaway for Music is for Mondays.
This week’s post featured the Avett Brothers.
Tyler Stanton and I have been friends for many years. We occasionally meet in Commerce, GA. I call it our Commerce Mandate. It makes it sounds official as if I have some serious business that needs my attention. Someone asks, “What are you doing tonight?” and I can say boldly, “I have to attend to a Commerce Mandate.” They nod in amazement.
(A Starbucks employee just informed us that we have 10 minutes until closing. I tell her “cool” and Tyler takes a big swill from his cooling coffee)
Me: Tyler, right now you are sporting a pseudo beard. In the length of time that I’ve known you, I don’t think I have ever seen a fat beard on you. Is that true?
Tyler: I feel like — I mean we’ve known each other for awhile — I feel like I’ve had a number of beards throughout that time.
Me: No. Never. It’s been pretty much this (pointing to Tyler’s chin area). The beard you are sporting looks like you forgot to shave this morning.
Tyler: I typically shave every fourth day. Around day 2.5/3, it gets to be pretty awful.
Me: You have the uncanny ability to grow a 3 o’clock shadow.
Tyler: I started shaving when I was probably…11?
Me: Was that out of need or because you wanted to be a “shaver”?
Tyler: A little bit of both. I think that I thought I was awesome at the time. I had the ‘stache problem early on.
Me: We call that the Thinstache.
Tyler: Well, I had the Thinstache probably in 5th or 6th grade. I was an early developer. I thought I was awesome then…
(The oppressively loud sound of grinding fills the store)
Tyler: …sorry, I can’t concentrate anymore because of the espresso that is being made with 8 minutes left. I forgot what I was saying.
Me: (Apparently thinking like an Austrailian) No worries. You are also a Connector too, right?
Tyler: Do you connect?
Me: (Hanging head in shame) Not at all.
Tyler: Well, you have a bare chest, don’t you?
Me: You do a blog and I think you did a post about the beard line… you had some equation?
Tyler: It’s an equation that’s quite simple, but I feel like when dads teach their kids to shave, they should have it in their back pocket.
Me: I really didn’t understand the equation.
Tyler: The equation is this: Beard Line < Jaw Line. (Goes on to explain equation) I feel like a bad beard line can make your somewhat fat neck look like a really fat neck. Nobody wants that. That’s where I gain weight is the neck region — first. So whenever I gain weight…
Me: …it goes straight to the neck?
Tyler: (Nodding) Straight to the neck. It’s… The jowell…
Me: That just sounds pretty gross.
Tyler: It’s a problem.
Me: Alright, we’re done here I think.
(Same Starbucks employee approaches our table to inform us that of the easily 2 minutes we actually have remaining, we are now out of time. I protest and Tyler slowly looks to the floor and offers a sarcastic remark.)
To get to all of the nuggets out of this conversation with Tyler, double-click below for the full interview.
The “Dub Quest” you ask? It is the shortened and more sexy version of what is called the “Double Question”. You may wonder when you have experienced the phenomenon. The DQ is usually experienced at the start of any event. It is most likely used at the beginning as it is the way the emcee tries to establish a relationship with the audience. It usually goes like this:
MC: (Checks mic by tapping on it) Good evening everyone! How are you doing?
Crowd: (Mixed grumbling)
MC: I said, how are you doing?
Crowd: (Again, louder mixed grumbling with a few “goods” and “alrights” and usually one smart alec screaming “SUPER!”)
MC: Okay then. Thanks for coming to Mark Dean Elementary’s 4th grade production of Pulp Fiction…
After the countless e-mails and the new subscriptions to my blog, I think that one man captured what America was thinking regarding my last entry. This question came from a close friend of mine, Tyler Stanton.
Tyler writes: “What’s reason number 10?”
Well Tyler, if I list it here, it is only because I am so serious about it and your penetrating question demands a response.
10. I will have a big family.
My own. I currently have 6 children. 5 would not have been enough, and 7, well, just would have been silly. And as you know, I do not, under any circumstances…play around. To make that point even more — the years where Lacey and I were not fertile enough? We adopted.