Remember how toys used to be dangerous and fun? Remember when toy makers made crap ads and crap toys but you didn’t care because your rich friend on the bus had one of those toys? Remember when using a toy may or may not make you look like you had some sort of handicap? Behold the Swing Wing.

Announcer: You are listening to 1010, WKEV FM.  Up next, Where are They Now? with host, Corby Tender.

Corby: Welcome to Where are They Now? I am your host, Corby Tender, and joining me in the studio is Slinky.
(Plays jingle.) What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound?
A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it’s Slinky.
Corby: Welcome to the show Slinky.
Slinky: Thank you for having me.  Sorry I was so hard to get hold of.
Corby: Well, you are a Slinky, right?  It would be hard to get hold of you!
Slinky: …
Corby: Okay.  So Slink.  May I call you “Slink”?
Slinky: No, you may not.
Corby: Very well. (coughs.)  Slinky.  You made your debut Christmas, 1945, just months after World War 2 had ended.  What was that like?
Slinky: Corby, it was a unique time in our nation to say the least.  The war was still fresh on the minds of the American people, and then I hit the stores that Christmas.  America needed something to lift their spirits.  Something to make them smile again.  Something…something that would say, “America is back on top!”
Corby: Are you saying that you were the answer?
Slinky: (nods.)
Corby: Those are pretty big words Slinky.
Slinky: Well, you have a pretty big butt.  Probably from sitting in your (uses finger quotes.) “seat of power” all day, every day.
Corby: Easy Slink…
Slinky: I said, do not call me “Slink!”.
Corby: Okay, easy Slinky.  Obviously you are wound up tonight.
Slinky: …
Corby: Let’s fast forward and talk about a touchy subject.  It is what was referred to as “the fall heard around the world”.  Do you know what I am talking about?
Slinky: …
Corby: I am talking about little Billy Rutger.  It was reported that you pushed him down the stairs.  Not the other way around like it was supposed to be.
Slinky: (Finger quotes again.)  “Supposed to be”?!  What do you mean?
Corby: Some say you flipped Slinky.  Some say you got tired of being pushed down endless flights of stairs and that you decided to turn the tables.  Did you push Billy Rutger down the stairs?
Slinky: …
Corby: Slinky…
Slinky: I don’t need this %@#*!  (slinks out of chair and rips off his headphones.)  You are going to hear from my lawyer Corby.  Or should I say (finger quotes.) “CORB!“  (throws his chair through the control room glass and slinks down the stairs.)
Corby: Well, there you have it folks.  Slinky.  A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing.  Marvelous?  Maybe dangerous.  We’ll be back after this important announcement.

Announcer: We hope you’ve enjoyed Where are They Now? with host, Corby Tender.  If you have lost track of someone or something through the years, contact our 1010 WKEV studios and let us know.  You can e-mail us at 11ty@kevinkeigley.com or leave your comment below.