Dadisms.
Dadspeak.
Fatherisms.
You may be unfamiliar with those words, but you know the language.
It’s the stuff that only Dads say.

When your Dad is asked, by means of a general greeting, if he was doing okay:
Dadism:  “If I was doing any better, I’d have to take an ill pill.”

When you actually admit to having a headache:
Dadism:  “If I had a head like that, mine would hurt too.”

When your Dad sees you and your friends approaching:
Dadism:  “Uh-oh. Here comes a motley crew!”

When you are in 6th grade and your Dad is folding laundry and finds a pair of your Brut Fabrege bikini briefs:
Dadism:  “Hey Kev — where do you want me to put your panties?”

Did I miss any Dadisms?  There are more out there.  What did your Dad say?

Q. You know how to tell when things are really locked down and secure online?
A. When you get some loony word combo that you are supposed to transcribe and prove that you are not some hacker.

This sweet word sandwich was sent to me by my friend from years past, Rhonda.
Thanks Rhonda — for the submission and your entire Stephen King collection.

I guess there could be such a thing, right?

I always feel better about the safety of my online activity when that little security check box pops up and asks me to do copy work.  The little box appears and I am requested to transcribe 2 words in wiggly text.  There have been combos like “scrimshaw germany” or “whitelash hotpants”.  You get the idea.  But never have I felt more safe about my world wide web proceedings than the time I was asked to copy the words shown in the still below.

I challenge you to post the most ludicrous combination that you experience today or that you’ve witnessed recently.

(The following entry was added 1 day later)

After going to Facebook to post this blog entry update, I got this security check:

I think I am going to write a book with ideas based on these security check words.

Magnus, our new dog, is learning the ropes of being a member of our family.  One of the things that he is working on right now is trying not to poo on our driveway.  In the dead heat of summer, no one wants that fresh-baked smell greeting them when they arrive at our home.   Therefore, Bergen and I go on Poo Patrol where we scour our yard and drive for Magnus treasures.

Today as we were searching, I came upon an unusually “healthy” Magnus marking.  The following is the verbal exchange between Bergen and I.

Me: Whew! Man Berg, this one has been bakin’ in the sun!
Bergen: Daddy, why does poo become bacon in the sun?  Why does it?

He also recently changed the celebrated Sunday School classic, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” to “He’s Got the Whole World in His Pants.”  Berg is a comedic genius.

Here is a short list of words that dudes should not get into the habit of using.  It is not exhaustive and there is always room for more, so feel free to add them.

1.  Tickle
2.  Pretty
3.  Bangs (referring to the front part of their own hair)
4.  Teeny-tiny
5.  Lather

And here is a glimpse into the life of a very sad dog.